Nashville or Bust

The trip that started a longer journey

Quick Update

Our plan for this week was to meet with the oncologist on Monday, review the 10/29 CT scan results and go through the second round of Chemo. Operative word in last sentence: *plan*.

We did go to the doctor and are happy to report the first round of Chemo had some effect on the tumor. It is a bit smaller than our baseline measurement. I think it got the message that none of us want it around. Move on, tumor.

And while the CHOP Chemo had this effect, Dave’s oncologist made the call to wait on administering Chemo #2 because of the *unknown* element. Multiple pathology teams have reviewed the slides and they still can’t conclusively type what Dave has from the original biopsy. They want more tissue.

When Dave went in for the needle biopsy in early October, we knew there was a slight chance of this happening. The tumor is in an awkward place. We had really hoped that when we heard they got good tissue via the needle, we’d be able to get things typed and understood quickly. Ah — we were such newbies back then and didn’t realize THIS STUFF is on ITS OWN SCHEDULE.  In order to make sure they are administering the most effective treatment possible, the docs (and we!) really want to know what sort of mutant cells have come out to play. Logical, yes. Maddening, of course.

So today, we meet with a thoracic surgeon referred to us by the oncologist. We’ll talk about a different approach for going in and getting a piece of this critter. This is not a step we want to take but it seems to be the one in front of us. We’re hoping for some options.

I’ve been struggling with this whole twist of events. I really had thought we were over the first big hurdles and could get some traction with a schedule and treatments. It’s hard to live when you feel life has been hijacked. I can only liken myself to a pouting child who doesn’t want to play this game anymore — she wants to play the other game she was playing a few months ago. And while I know that my life hasn’t been ‘hijacked’ — my life is still here in front of me begging to be lived — I can’t quite see it right now. I’m hoping for a few answers today that will help me move off this space because it is not a space I enjoy.

To help, I’m taking myself back to this summer and trying to get in touch with  suspended magic. Ironic, it was hours after this picture was snapped that Dave first felt some back pain. I’m ignoring that factoid.  Instead, I’m channeling the unadulterated memory — a morning of pure bliss and happy. No one really knew where we were … or where we were going. I remember thinking how great simple life and nature were. How good the sun felt on my face. And how lucky and blessed I was. ~Jacqui


Woods Creek Lake, Kentucky




November 3, 2010 - Posted by | Dave

1 Comment »

  1. I am thinking of you today J.
    Deeply meditating on health and love for you and D.

    Comment by mierka girten | November 3, 2010 | Reply

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