Travelers, Poets, Merchants and Thieves
Confession. I like to explore astrology and nature’s energy every now and then. Some of my earliest memories include scouring the daily paper, Sunday’s Parade Magazine or the back of T.V. Guide for Jean Dixon’s column. I’m not a hardcore purveyor of the mystic and metaphysical, but friends will tell you I always keep an eye on the moon. (It’s waning, by the way. New Moon next Friday!)
When I realized that Mercury was headed into Retrograde on August 30, I decided to tune into the 22-day period so many people dread with a dedicated sense of awareness. Perhaps in doing so, I wouldn’t be broadsided by the backward motion. When the crux of what you do is project manage all day, a bad run of misinterpreted emails and calls layered with scheduling mishaps is mis-er-y .
My embrace of the period included grounding myself. Kyanite helps (thank you Dennis, Rainie and Crystal Guy Gene for opening me up to this) so my dangles were as essential everyday as my toothbrush and glasses. I observed more and meditated. Being mindful in this way curbed my natural instincts to control and drive the state of things. I began to figure out how to allow situations to evolve and resolve without my overt meddling. That felt good.
Small things I treasure: blue Kyanite from The Crystal Guy, orange Kyanite from sweet friends, Dennis and Rainie, earrings designed by Teresa Yee.
All in all, the period came and went without too much interference in my personal day-to-day. Sure,there were a few moments where it seemed like everything was Babylon. You didn’t have to look too far to see blatant and sad examples of miscommunication. But I think the bigger thing to take away from this is what you can do when you see all the disconnect around you: How to react, and to that, in a constructive way. How to bring comfort. How to reflect. How to stage yourself to be a positive catalyst. The god of travelers, poets, merchants and thieves will always get the itch to rule a span of our days with whimsical mischief. Its in learning how to sing and play with him that we might find great energy to do new things. ~ Jacqui
Heard the term Mercury in Retrograde but not sure what it means? This little summary from Farmer’s Almanac is a good place to start. There’s one more in 2016 — just in time for the holidays. Joy!
Day +364: Liberation
I’ve written before about anniversaries and looking back. It’s one of the things we humans do. The completion of a revolution is a catalyst. Oh, how we can latch on to the moment, wax on and reminisce! It’s easy to get lost in our own spin.
As I sit here and write this post — which on one level seems a bit obligatory — I realize that where I thought I’d be after this whole experience is not where I currently am. It’s a tough one to reconcile.
A year ago was transplant day. As surreal as that experience was, it seems small when compared to so many other things in our micro and macro worlds. Through a day of transfusion in which there was a mystery cake, weird science and references to James Brown, I got my best friend back, our children regained their sense of security and the misaligned puzzle piece that represented our collective eventually settled. We resumed our roles and functions. We had a lot of fun. We slipped back into old habits. All good. Some bad. Life, right?
Hyper-reflecting on the 8,736 hours between one September 9 and the next — and isolating myself in the process — I’d like to say the witness of this experience helped develop a better ability to be present. I could then twirl, fling glitter into the air and share with everyone the joy of everything, like say, dirt. Life altering moments, including the vicarious ones, are supposed to have that sort of result. Both Hallmark and the Internet say so.
But as I honestly reflect, I see that for me it did not. Lord knows I squandered more than I should have this year, especially when reminded again that living is so very unpredictable.
What held me back? Simply put, status quo. The rush to get back to ‘normal.’ The desire to experience ‘uneventful.’ The need to uphold ‘responsibility.’ Instead of looking up and living out I retreated into the daily grind.
Damn, that’s a shame. Even the rough parts of the shared journey serve up shinny pebbles. Somehow I managed to cruise right by and miss this one. I left dare on the road and ran straight to safe.
Day +364. It is over. Dave is great, ahead of the curve in so many ways. His doctor has given him the next set of orders including, and most passionately stated, “forget you even had this transplant.” Go. Live. Be. Free.
That applies to me, too. It is time to be open and free. The memory of that day itself does not bring me joy so I am releasing it. What does bring me happiness and grounding is the result of that day and the fact that it is tangible in my here and now. Continuing to squander that would be a sin.
So, I put this out there and most appropriately feel gratitude for everything Dave and I — as a couple and as individuals — have received through this passage. It’s time to get up and dance. ~ Jacqui
Nashville or Bust 