Nashville or Bust

The trip that started a longer journey

Day +16: The Process of Assimilation

looking-down-river-aaron-siebensToday is Friday… day +16. Dave left the hospital on Monday… day +12. It was a bit sooner than anticipated given how he was feeling mid-last week, but it was a welcomed, quiet event. The nurses told us that when the engraftment process latched, we’d see quick results. Counts are rising. All is well. And while the brunt of the big stuff is over, there are still a myriad of appointments at the hospital, some in-home care things we do and a slow climb back to normalcy. The transition is amazing when you think about it. It’s done.

It has been nice being home and being quiet with Dave as he settles in and rests. We have coffee (really!) and get the kids ready for school. Outside of medical appointments, the schedule has been simple: eat — nap — enjoy a movie or documentary on Netflix. Repeat. We are assimilating — absorbing experiences, both past and current, adapting, adjusting.

Keeping it simple has kept us both from trying to do too much. Keeping it still has helped us both to listen to what we need to hear. Sometimes we talk about all of this… the summer, the phases, the nineteen days in a hospital room, all the people we encountered, the experience of re-entering the big, colorful world… but mostly we just talk about other things. It has been tender and a bit surreal. Sometimes it feels as if none of this happened.

Interestingly, somewhere in the process, ‘Roger’ slipped away. As I think about all the things I’ve felt since May, all the things that have rumbled through my brain and all the talks Dave and I have had, at some point, recognition of  the cancer itself simply stopped. I’m not sure what that means, really, and perhaps someday I’ll take the time to figure it out. But it is somewhat telling, I think, to realize this. Our focus swiftly turned to tearing down and building up — dealing with the symptoms and reactions to those two things. The salvage and the salvation. Why ponder over the catalyst?

And maybe, that’s just what we all need to do at this point. We made it through. Not just Dave, myself, Brandon, Jameson, Tessa, Dave’s family and mine… but all of us. We. Throughout these posts and phone calls and private messages and video clips and cards and songs and private thoughts, the panels of our universe aligned and fused. We fumed together. We cheered together. We cried in the dark together. We laughed at bad jokes together. We held memories and made memories. Together.

We changed and now we must assimilate. It’s all good.

Stay happy people. We love you and thank you. ~Jacqui




September 25, 2015 - Posted by | Dave, Everyday

1 Comment »

  1. Of all of the moving posts, over these weeks, this one is the most beautiful. Thank you Jacqui and grands for loving and caring for our boy, David, so much. Jane and Bill aka Mimi and Papa

    Comment by Jane Killen | September 25, 2015 | Reply

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