Nashville or Bust

Put The Pencil Down

Remember building a cabin with Lincoln Logs?

You had to think in layers… cross-hatch support systems… and overall project vision all at once. You couldn’t rush things. And sometimes what you thought you could do needed to change mid-build. (Dag — I really wanted a window in the wall… )

I had stacking and cross-hatch flashbacks during the follow-up meeting with the stem cell transplant team at Jewish Hospital today. It’s one thing to juggle a *plan* with a single medical team. Try juggling two at once while factoring in the natural thoughts about work, kids, the home fort, etc. Things get precarious. So many variables and contingencies. So many needs to keep things fluid. So much desire to align steps with dates. Too many realizations that I can’t align all the steps with all the dates right now.

The general sketch of two plans that intertwine is there. The detail — what I thrive on in times like these — well, it will fill in as we go.

Realize that for me, not having a complete, concrete action plan with circles and arrows —  the kind that can be written out and visualized —  is hard. It makes me twitch. Feelings of helplessness and anxiety start to rise. Synchronized schedules help me cope. I think I’ll need a bigger white board come August.

And that, my friends is most likely when I’ll be reaching out for a bit of assistance. Right now I can handle. August looms.

It’s going to take some coordination to help Dave get through all the milestones he has on the horizon while making sure that everyone else has what they need and everything else that must happen gets done. (Um… like a new school year?) Touring the facility at Jewish today put a lot of things into perspective.

Aside from this, and more importantly, Dave is doing incredibly well. Cycle One brought only fatigue as the main side effect. If you didn’t know, you most likely wouldn’t know that Dave is in active treatment. This initial part is different than last time. He’s eating, doing things around the house, taking walks and even had a night of band rehearsal with the Pike boys last eve. It was good to hear music… and laughter…and nonsense.

This weekend we’ll try to get ahead of a few things on both the home and work fronts as we mentally prep for more. Dave is scheduled to start Cycle Two of RICE chemo with his base oncology team Monday. Like last week, this will cover three days. Hopefully this will set him up for a nice segue into the second plan but that can’t be determined right now. Certain logs need to fit into certain grooves first. Variables. Gah.

I’m trying. I really am. ~Jacqui

July 17, 2015 - Posted by daveandjacqui | Dave, Everyday