Nashville or Bust

Year One: Complete

Today is September 23. One year ago today (on a sunny Thursday) I was sitting at work when I got a call from Dave. Most of you know the drill from there. (And if you are new here, this post may help.)

It’s human to use anniversaries to sling-shot back in time, reflect on what happened, celebrate, mourn — some of the above, all of the above. I did my fair share of that yesterday on what was a different Thursday — the last of this cycle called year one:

After Dave received some good news in May, I made a deliberate choice to step away from the blog for awhile. We had things to do as a family … Brandon’s graduation, our first participation in the Relay for Life, a quick trip back to Woods Creek Lake, random weekend activities and days at the pool, packing Brandon up for college and helping him step into that new phase. There were a zillion blog posts packed in there but I decided not to write. I needed to step away for a bit and interject quiet. This place where I have been free to share, celebrate, question and rant will forever have a link to (dramatically whispers) Cancer… you know, cancer? If I didn’t write, there wouldn’t be any tag-on cancer reporting therefore, no more cancer. Me and my silly logic. Move on.

In the last phase of year one I’ve had to watch Dave wrestle with what early remission is… and what it is not. Primarily, there is not a magic moment when everything is coated in moon dust and all pain and fears are erased forever. There is no big ‘undo’ button, no riding off into the sunset moment — as perhaps my last post left things. Remission is gradual — and hard. But it is living and Dave continues to amaze and inspire me everyday. Conditions are still adverse in their own right and the support system of a hyper-connected medical team has naturally drifted into a different mode. All those appointments, meetings and schedules kept us rational — we were fed constant bits of information that helped us each react accordingly. We had steps each to take and things to check off the list. This quiet time with its focus on total healing allows for a lot of emotional thinking. It’s easy to get lost and tangled in the clouds. And there is always the nagging question, do you ever really heal?

In a few weeks, we’ll be back in Nashville. It is going to be quite a trip. We said we would go back to celebrate and that is exactly what we are going to do. I anticipate that while the pace may still be slow the time away — and the music — are going to be great medicine. We’re looking forward to it and we are going to do our best to post as we can from the Americana Music Festival and Conference.

So with this post, we really do close a chapter and start something new. We have a lot to look forward to and a lot we want to enjoy and do. The static of work situations and world conditions can just fade away for a moment. We made it to this day. To be honest, 365 days ago, I couldn’t see it.

September 23, 2011 - Posted by daveandjacqui | Dave, Everyday